Writers are stupid. Writers are stupid because they do the most depressing job in the world. Writers are stupid because they shorten their lives by sitting down all day and eating toast and smoking and writing depressing things. Writers are stupid because they only get 0.1 per cent of royalties. […]
1. You hate being entered for races that you always lose. 2. You like having a clue about what is going on with your career. 3. You like to know, to the nearest ten thousand pounds, how much money you will earn in a year. 4. You like having a […]
Britain has a strange relationship with America. It is like that of a man who married a woman, and then the woman divorced him way back in 1776, and now said woman – let’s call her Liberty – has gone on to better things. She has got rich, glamorous and […]
This is the first blog I’ve written since writing blogs for the respectable charity Booktrust. Booktrust gave me no rules for writing blogs, except that they said I couldn’t swear. So after six months of non-swearing I have been bursting to fucking swear. I really fucking have. I just need […]
The nose knows! The Humans will be out in America this week published by Free Press. I’m doing a couple of events in America – San Diego 11th July and Los Angeles 14th July – see events for more details. The Humans is also available as an audio book – listen to it […]